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Back Shelf Beauties
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xXx: State Of The Union The movie opens with lots of stuff being blown up, which got my hopes up (and earns ½ Waffle), but it falls apart from there. I know it's just a movie, but xXx: State of the Union is so unrealistic I had to start laughing at its mediocrity. Samuel L. Jackson is back as Augustus Gibbons - leader of a secret arm of the USA's National Security Agency. As we learned in the last movie, xXx with Vin Diesel (who's not in this one), Gibbons acts in secret, so government authorities can plausibly deny his actions, but they know they need him to do the dirtiest of work to protect America. Now, something even more dastardly is taking place, and Gibbons is the target. After his supposedly secret compound is attacked, Gibbons realizes he was supposed to end up dead, and goes underground with his assistant, Agent Toby Lee Shavers (Michael Roof), to find a new xXx agent. Of course, Gibbons tries to find a new xXx who is more dangerous and has more attitude than the last one, which leads him to NAVY Seal Darius Stone (Ice Cube) - a former soldier from Washington, DC who served under Gibbons and ended up in jail for leading a mutiny against General George Deckert (Willem Dafoe). It just happens, General Deckert is the Secretary of State, and he seems to be up to no good in the nation's capital. What is Deckert planning? Is Darius Stone up to the task to stop him? xXx: State of the Union has (even for a movie) extremely unrealistic action, doesn't do a good job explaining the rift between Darius and Deckert, and only stumbles across the plot by accident too late in the movie as an excuse to blow more stuff up. In an attempt to impress the audience, director Lee Tamahori makes Darius Stone into Superman as the character defies gravity, remarkably avoids gunshots, gets stabbed but still has the power and stamina to battle the bad guy while showing no ill effects, and makes a dive into the river that should have ripped his arms off at that height and speed (according to my diving and skydiving expert, I keep my feet firmly on the ground). Amazingly, it gets more unrealistic from there. Along the way, Tamahori and writer Simon Kinberg (who is writing Mr. and Mrs. Smith, X-Men 3 and Fantastic Four, so who is he sleeping with?) miss several opportunities to build the plot, better let us in on Deckert's plan to help build tension as the movie progresses, and make Darius into a hero. As it stands, Darius is supposed to be a hero because he does extraordinary things and he's xXx (he has the tattoo on his neck, so it must be true), but the incident that sent him to jail, properly explained and embellished, could have made him a real hero unjustly imprisoned by a maniacal General Deckert, who set him up, while Gibbons is giving Darius a chance at redemption. This one piece of the puzzle could have instantly, truly and for good reason established him as a hero and Deckert as the villain, but it gets passed over to rush to the next scene where something gets blown up. It could be the heart of xXx: State of the Union, but it's not handled well. Sadly, when we find out the real reason Deckert wants to enact his dastardly plan, you'll be convinced Kinberg and Tamahori should be sued for movie malpractice. In the middle of unbelievable and unrealistic action, this plot twist takes the cake and exceeds the boundaries of reasonable thought in new and shocking ways. Also, since they shot some footage here in DC, you think Kinberg could have gotten some of the DC references and vernacular correct (just stop someone on the street and ask). For the record, no one goes "upstate" and you never refer to someone as being from "the south side" of DC. Note to Kinberg, this is NOT Chicago. Even the special effects look cheap! xXx: State of the Union is escapist entertainment at its worst. ½ Waffle (Out Of 4) Copyright 2005 - WaffleMovies.com
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