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Back Shelf Beauties
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The Transporter 2 Jason Statham is back, but I feel like we should call this movie Man On Fire 2. The plot is almost the same, but I'm not sure Denzel can kick booty like Statham, and Statham won't get an Oscar like Denzel's, unless they add a Best Booty Kicker category. Then again, that's why they have the MTV Movie Awards. Statham stars as Frank Martin - a mercenary and former special forces operative who has decided to retire to a quieter life in Miami (you're right, it's not going to happen, but play along). He has been temporarily hired to drive the young son, Jack (Hunter Clary), of the United States' Drug Czar, Billings (Matthew Modine), to and from school, and the two have formed a special bond. On one of his last days on the job, Frank agrees to take Jack to a Doctor's appointment so his mother, Audrey (Amber Valletta), can set up the young boy's surprise birthday party, but Frank is the one in for the surprise. Jack and Frank are taken hostage by some sort of international crime cartel, and the transporter needs to find a way out of this mess while protecting his young cargo. The Transporter 2 is one of those movies that is bad, but fun. Even though it doesn't have a great deal of artistic merit or Oscar caliber performances, it has lots of great fight scenes, stuff blowing up, and a fantastic hero. Statham, stomping through each scene wearing his Blues Brothers suit and a scowl, has a very commanding screen presence, and wins over the audience with his athletic ability and the character's undeniable sense of honor and duty. You like Frank, root for him and cheer as he dispatches the bad guys with no mercy. Director Louis Leterrier and martial arts choreographer Corey Yuen map out and film some entertaining fight scenes, which make Statham look like Jet Li or Jackie Chan (obviously influenced by their groundbreaking work). They are action packed, but also give the audience a laugh at super dumb criminals overmatched by a powerful foe fighting to protect a family he loves. However, most of the fight scenes and action sequences are far beyond the realm of possibility. In real life, Frank Martin would have died at least 10 times, but it's just a movie, so you can only complain so much. Part of the guilty pleasure of The Transporter 2 is the goofy, unbelievable action that has the audience cheering and jeering with affection. However, I do have to register my dissatisfaction with some of the special effects. At one point, Frank is on a plane, but as we watch the plane getting thrown around in the sky, it looks like a toy model plane on a string. It is the fakest plane I have ever seen, and might have been some sort of toy the director's kid played with in the bathtub. Add this to the stiff dialogue from Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen and stereotypical villains straight out of some sort of 1970's B-movie, and you'll see just how bad the movie can be. These villains all have the worst fake accents you will find in a major motion picture, all overact worse than William Shatner in Star Trek V and seem to have every one of the bad guy nationalities covered (some Russians, a Columbian and maybe one German, just add Osama Bin Laden, and you hit the jackpot). Of course, the worst is the Angelina Jolie-wannabe waifishly thin model with too much eye-liner who is supposed to be part sex goddess and part deadly assassin, Lola (Katie Nauta). She isn't very sexy and doesn't do enough killing to prove her worth in The Transporter 2. There are about 1000 unemployed actresses who could do better than Nauta, and look better, too. Maybe the casting director needs a subscription to Playboy to find the kind of sexy woman Lola is supposed to be. The Transporter 2 is a mindless, get away from it all and turn-your-brain-off fun time for people like me who are entertained by cool fight scenes and stuff blowing up. 2 ½ Waffles (Out Of 4) Copyright 2005 - WaffleMovies.com
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