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Spy Kids 3-D: If Director Robert Rodriguez was determined to make a movie featuring one of the two Spy Kids, why did he have to feature the annoying one? Daryl Sabara stars again as Juni - the youngest child in a family of super spies. After losing faith in the top secret spy agency OSS, Juni has set off on his own, but he's called back into action after his sister, Carmen (Alexa "I wanna be a pop star" Vega) is captured by the infamous Toymaker (Sylvester "yes it's really him!" Stallone). The Toymaker has created a new virtual reality videogame that is the hottest rage among kids, but little do the kids know that, if they can make it to the highest level, they will never escape! Can Juni save the day? This kid couldn't save a dollar even if he called 10-10-220 with Terry Bradshaw, Mike Piazza and ALF giving him directions the whole way. Spy Kids 3-D is not a movie. It's a huge 3-D movie experiment and exhibition for people who have never had the experience. The film is very short on plot, doesn't introduce anything of value to the Spy Kids lore, and doesn't do much more than give you the same kind of 3-D experience that is usually only available at DisneyWorld. And, I swear to God as my witness, if Disney (owner of Miramax, which distributed the film), only released this movie to build a new 3-D attraction at the theme parks, I might have to go medieval on Mickey Mouse. Where do I start? First, Spy Kids 3-D features some of the worst acting you will ever see. Sabara is the anti-Shirley Temple with a lack of likeability that is painful. I'm sure he's a nice kid in person, but he is an annoying actor who doesn't evoke any sympathy or love from the audience. Stallone hams it up worse here than he ever did in Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot. He was a great actor once (watch Rocky and Rocky II again if you don't believe me), but most of his recent movies have shown Stallone to be evolving into the Rocky/Rambo caricature that has been mocked for years. I guess he's trying to get in on the joke, but doesn't do a great job of it or could have picked a better movie to do it with. Second, where's the story? Some video games have better plots than this movie about a video game. Maybe it's totally aimed at children who will get wrapped up in the action, but the plot is overly simple and predictable. Finally, who cares? The first Spy Kids was innovative and a visual thrill. The second was pitiful, but made for the money. Now, the third one, has hit rock bottom. 1 Waffle (Out Of 4) DVD Features Watching in 3-D - You can watch the DVD version of this film in 3-D or 2-D, but you might face some hurdles. When you buy Spy Kids 3-D, the package includes 4 sets of 3-D glasses, but not all rentals will have them. My survey of Washington, DC video stores showed that the stores had many pairs of 3-D glasses and each renter received their own glasses to keep, instead of leaving one set of glasses with each DVD, which then had to be returned with the DVD. Because the DVD is so popular, stores were running out or had run out of glasses by Thursday. You should ask the cashier if they have glasses before you rent the DVD. Once you have your glasses and DVD, the package has one 3-D DVD and one in 2-D, so make sure you insert the proper DVD. For the best 3-D experience, you should follow the 3-D set up instructions to set your television's tint and contrast to the proper levels. Also, try to watch the movie in the dark so the 3-D works best (the DVD also suggests that computer viewing is best). At the theater, I thought the 3-D was better than I had ever seen. At home, it took my eyes about 5 - 10 minutes before they adjusted enough to appreciate the 3-D, but the movie is structured in a way that these 5 - 10 minutes are not packed with 3-D effects. After the adjustment, I thought the 3-D was OK, but better than my previous 3-D TV experience. Also, make sure your kids only wear the 3-D glasses when watching the movie. They can hurt your eyes if used improperly. Mega Race Game - This is the best DVD extra as participants get a chance to play the same race game that appears in the movie. Using the DVD remote control, the player steers his/her motorcycle through an obstacle filled course much like Pole Position (yes, I'm old). While I was upset that the player only can move when the game wants you to (which I figured out after my 4th wipeout), it still is a challenge. Alexa Vega in Concert - I am scarred for life after watching this. Let us never speak of it again. Robert Rodriguez 10 Minute Film School - This is like a no-frills "Making Of" feature that is much more interesting as Rodriguez shows the audience how he used limited space while making the movie. He gives a wonderful lesson on how to use the camera and perspective to achieve your vision. Copyright 2003 and 2004 - WaffleMovies.com
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