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The Pink Panther I think I have laughed more at funerals, which is somewhat appropriate for this movie. The Pink Panther is a funeral for Steve Martin's dignity and soul. In this "re-imagining" (which sounds classier than remake), Martin stars as Inspector Jacques Clouseau - the most hapless, bumbling, moronic law enforcement officer in France. When a famous soccer coach is murdered on the field after winning an important game, and the world famous Pink Panther Diamond is stolen off his finger, Chief Inspector Dreyfus (Kevin Kline) decides to bring in Clouseau to act as a distraction. While the media follows his antics and certain failure in cracking the case, Dreyfus plans on solving the crime in secret and without interference, so he can win the prestigious Medal of Honor. Will Clouseau fail as horribly as Dreyfus assumes he will? Who will get hurt in the process? I wish more people went to see Shopgirl, so Martin would never make a film like this or Cheaper By The Dozen again. The Pink Panther is a painful, plodding and futile attempt at comedy so dreadfully bad I wanted to walk out in the first 20 minutes. Writers Len Blum (He helped write Stripes! How can he be this bad?!?) and Martin seem to have no clue what made the original Pink Panther series funny, and rely on idiotic sight gags and obvious, predictable jokes to pass the time. Most jokes are repeated at least once, including Clouseau's troubles pronouncing certain words and his attempts to cut wires he shouldn't be touching, which adds to the predictability of the movie. Blum and Martin don't develop the mystery of who stole the Pink Panther diamond and killed the coach, instead letting the movie become a series of antics usually leading to a pratfall or some other sort of physical, slapstick comedy. Then, they put everything on Martin's shoulders, very rarely using other characters in the cast to entertain us or advance the story. We have a meaningless and undeveloped romance between Clouseau and his assistant, Nicole (Emily Mortimer); never get to see Clouseau develop chemistry with his new partner, Pontan (Jean Reno); and need to see more interaction between Clouseau and Dreyfus to understand how the boss has come to hate the employee. It's a shame, because Martin could use the help. Martin can be a very funny guy, but The Pink Panther will go down as one of his worst performances. The studio might as well have hired Ashton Kutcher or Ben Affleck to play the character. He forces the entire performance from the faux French accent to the physical comedy to the sexual innuendos and suggestions delivered with the subtlety of a hammer to the head. Worse than all of that, Martin never seems to become Clouseau. While looking up at the screen and trying to enjoy the film, you see Steve Martin the entire time, not the character he is trying to create. Having a dark moustache with his trademark shocking gray hair doesn't help. Beyonce fans will be disappointed to hear she is barely in the movie, like just about everyone else in the cast. The rest of us are disappointed because Martin is in it. 0 Waffles (Out Of 4) Copyright 2006 - WaffleMovies.com
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