|
|
  
Back Shelf Beauties
|
The Perfect Man You know you're getting old and in for a rude awakening when the object of your teen fantasies (Heather Locklear) is playing the mother of today's teen, bubble-gum-pop, sugary spawn of satan (Hilary Duff). However, you shouldn't feel sorry for me. You should feel sorry for the two 10-year old boys who snuck into the theater during The Perfect Man hoping to see Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, only to find out they were in the wrong place. That kind of thing can scar a boy for life. Duff stars as Holly - a frustrated, lonely teen forced to move from town to town whenever her lovelorn, single mother, Jean (Locklear), has her heart broken by yet another loser guy. The young girl doesn't get much of a chance to make new friends or attend school dances, but she broadcasts her pain in her blog, Girl on the Move (Hilary Duff as a blogger makes it officially uncool to blog and might drive a stake through the heart of the internet). Now, the family has landed in Brooklyn, where Jean works as a cake decorator. Tired of seeing her mother chase after losers, Holly decides to create the perfect man for her mother based on her new pal's Uncle Ben (Chris Noth). Will this ruse make Jean happy? Will she ever discover the truth? Is it possible for a movie to give you a stroke? Granted, I am not a Hilary Duff fan, but this movie is a great example why. The Perfect Man is more like Mr. Wrong as it tries too hard to be charming and force us to like it. The movie feels fake, calculated and plastic throughout, and, in the end (or maybe some place in the middle of the film), you just want to run away before it sucks you into its warped view of love, relationships and New York City. Writer Gina Wendkos (based on the not so cute real story of Heather Robinson, super special thanks to Movie Mom for the info) fills the The Perfect Man with too many obvious attempts to co-opt teen life including a potential boyfriend, Adam (Ben Feldman), who is into comic books, and the previously mentioned blog. If only Wendkos had Holly ride a skateboard to school, she would have hit the trifecta. Also, Wendkos and director Mike Rosman have to use too much filler to make The Perfect Man long enough to qualify as a movie. The central relationship in the film is between Holly and Jean. The main plot is Holly's deception and the results of the ruse. However, someone thought you can't have a Hilary Duff movie without giving her character a love interest, so, suddenly, this plot becomes much more important to the movie than the story we started with and causes The Perfect Man to drag on and on and on as we move towards the blessed ending. Even worse, and you have to blame Rosman for some of this, all comedy in this film is played much too silly. Jean's new loser pursuer, Lenny (Mike O'Malley), doesn't appear to have the mental faculties to hold down a job let alone win the attention of HEATHER LOCKLEAR! A Styx tribute band stars the real Dennis DeYoung, giving the term, "camping it up" a new, dreadful meaning. Finally, the movie is filled with flat, tired stereotypical behavior and jokes delivered by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Carson Kressley, who proves he can deliver better extemporaneous one-liners on his show than Wendkos ever could dream up. The Perfect Man only shows signs of life when focusing on the adults as Jean expresses her regrets and worries about what she is doing with her life, or Uncle Ben dishes out fatherly philosophy about love. The Perfect Man is a step backwards for Hilary Duff. After A Cinderella Story, I was ready to give her a chance, but stuff like this doesn't allow her to grow as an actress, if that's important to her and the Hilary Duff Inc. team. 1 Waffle (Out Of 4) Copyright 2005 - WaffleMovies.com
|
