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Shelf Beauties
by Willie Waffle
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Open
Season
Lots of people come up to me
thinking it must be so cool to be a movie critic (and it is). However, sometimes, it
means you have to sit
through two Ashton Kutcher movies in the same week.
And one of them has Martin Lawrence!
AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!
In this
animated feature, Lawrence
provides the voice of Boog the Grizzly Bear – a pampered bear
who lives with a
park ranger, Beth (Debra Messing), in the small, mountain town of
Timberline. He’s
got everything a child
or frat boy would want including a television, comfortable bed, his
very own
teddy bear, regular meals and an indoor toilet.
One day, he helps a deer,
Elliott (Kutcher), escape from a hunter, Shaw (Gary Sinise), and now
Elliott
wants to be best friends. This
leads to
all sorts of trouble, including Beth starting to believe Boog is
getting out of
control, so she releases the bear and deer into the woods, just in time
for
hunting season.
Will Boog and Elliott be
able to survive in the wild? Will
the
hunters make them into rugs, trophies and dinner?
If you were thinking of
taking your kids to see Open
Season,
here’s what they are going to see.
Hunters trying to stab and shoot our
heroes. What
appears to be a bear
mauling a deer. A
deer dropping deer
doodoo in the forest. A
weird,
stalkerish porcupine. And,
let’s not
forget, a bear tossing his cookies.
Is
that all around good time family fun?
Sadly, all of that is in vain, since the story
isn’t all that great
either.
Writers Steve Bencich and
Ron Friedman can’t figure out what the movie is supposed to
be about, and seem
to abandon all to work up to the movie’s funny, but forced,
climax where the
animals of the forest fight back against the hunters.
Somewhere in there is a story about these two
oddball characters becoming friends, something about growing up and
leaving the
safety of home for new adventures, some sort of story about why Elliott
is off
on his own, and an anti-hunting theme that makes all hunters look like
redneck
fools, but none of it is well developed and doesn’t come with
hilarious
dialogue. Instead Open
Season
is a
series of silly slapstick scenes that appeal to 2-year olds who
don’t know
better (just ask the 2-year old in the theater with me who quickly
learned he could
laugh louder than any of us and get some attention for doing so).
I guess talking animals
aren’t always funny. Open
Season should
be taken out back and shot.
½
Waffle (Out Of 4)
Copyright
2006 - WaffleMovies.com
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