Based on the video game,
Timothy Olyphant stars as Agent 47 – an orphan raised and
trained to be one of
the world’s most dangerous assassins for a mysterious,
powerful group only
known as “The Organization” (subtlety and
creativity are not always traits of
this movie or video games).
He has
been assigned to kill the Russian president, who has started to change
his
positions and damage the interests of The Organization.
However, Agent 47 soon finds out he has been
double crossed, and must discover the truth to save himself and the
sexy hot Russian
gal, Nina (Olga Kurylenko), who supposedly witnessed his assassination
attempt.
Will Agent 47 get to the
bottom of it? Will
he be arrested
first? Will Nina
put on any clothing
during the movie? Do
you want her to?
Hitman
is a movie for people
who like explosions, spattering blood and hot sexy Russian women with
long legs
and miniskirts, which is why I am willing to go up to 2 Waffles. Overall, director Xavier
Gens is much more
interested in creating mood and images in the place of story and
characters,
but delivers what the paying audience is looking for in Hitman.
You get to see absurd fight scenes, including
one sword fighting scene that was shot so badly I confused
Olyphant’s stunt
double for an actual participant in the fight.
He turns on the musical soundtrack so incessantly we
think he wants us
to feel like every transition to a new scene is crucial and important. Plus, he keeps the camera
trained on
Kurylenko whenever she saunters across the room, with or without a top
on.
However, what really takes
the cake is how ludicrous some of the story becomes.
Agent 47 is supposed to be a top secret,
stealthy hit man, but he walks around with a completely shaved head and
a
massive barcode tattoo on his skull (no one at a crime scene will
remember
seeing THAT!). Also,
Agent 47 can walk
into any situation unarmed, surrounded by people who have guns aimed at
him,
and get out of it, usually by grabbing two guns and pointing them in
opposite
directions (because that looks cooler, even if it would screw up you
aim).
While Olyphant looks like a
meaner, tougher and buffer version of Ryan Seacrest, he isn’t
quite imposing
enough to make us shudder in our seats.
I can’t imagine the soda you have in the
arm rest is at any danger of
falling out of place, unless you are clumsy.
He’s supposed to be a wooden character,
but Olyphant isn’t
Schwarzenegger or even Van Damme, so his stoicism is more like pouting,
which
makes it difficult to respect his alleged superiority when it comes to
killing
and blowing stuff up.
Writer Skip Woods (I'd make a funny comment about his name, but I live in the glass house) provides a solid story with several
good twists
and turns early on, but Hitman loses steam as we realize what
is supposed to
happen and we don’t get enough bold surprises along the way.
2
Waffles (Out of 4)
Hitman is
rated R for strong
bloody violence, language and some sexuality/nudity.
Copyright
2007 - WaffleMovies.com
