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Back Shelf Beauties
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Doom Universal has the guts to screen Doom for critics, so I might as well write one of those idiotic quotes like Earl Dittman of Wireless Magazine always does to get himself into the movie's TV commercials and newspaper ads (If he actually exists. No one can find the magazine and no one I know has ever met him). Try this on for size, "Everyone else's chances at an Oscar are DOOMed." I don't mean it, but it is a cool quote for a movie that isn't as bad as you might think (Universal should put that in the commercial. "It's not as bad as you think!"). The Rock stars as Sarge - leader of an elite, futuristic Marine commando squad sent to a remote scientific laboratory on Mars. Years ago, a portal from Earth to Mars was discovered, but the people who built it couldn't be found. Now, something horrible has happened, and Sarge's crew must travel to Mars, secure the scientific data learned from experiments, and quarantine the base, so the disease or monster or whatever it is doesn't get to Earth. Once they arrive, the crew starts to realize they are facing a powerful foe, and the scientific experiments might have been highly dangerous. What it is it? Who will live? Who will die? Why did that advanced civilization die off? Most of the time, Doom is more of a theme park attraction than a movie, which is not surprising for a movie based on a video game, but I have seen much worse (Alone in the Dark, Gigli, New York Minute, Alexander, just mentioning those movies will send me to therapy for several months, THE HORROR!!!!). Writers David Callaham and Wesley Strick don't waiver too far from the obvious and simple by creating stereotypical characters like Sarge (the gung ho tough guy leader), Reaper (the guy with a haunted past), Portman (the dirty, perverted filthy guy), Goat (the religious guy), The Kid (the rookie) and Dr. Samantha Grimm (the babe in the tight sweater who runs around, alot). They let director Andrzej Bartkowiak fill the movie with familiar fight scenes from the video game without letting tedious and annoying elements like plot, character development and dialogue get in the way, so it devolves into a movie where we watch stuff get shot and blow up. In the movie's climax, and most ridiculous moment, Bartkowiak even switches to a first person perspective like in the video game. Sadly, it's the only time you can actually follow the action as most of the movie is too dark to see the monsters and the gun fights, but, if I wanted to see the video game, I would play the video game. Most of the acting is stiff and lifeless (their swearing is unnatural, awkward and too stuffy), but The Rock makes an impression because he is about 20 times better than everyone else on the screen. Even with a bad script, he is charismatic and commanding, and gets to show off some moves he learned in the WWE (Quick lesson to movie bad guys, don't fight The Rock, he's a professional wrestler!). Doom has some good action scenes and a decent premise, but no one cared enough to make it memorable. 1 Waffles (Out Of 4) Copyright 2005 - WaffleMovies.com
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