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Back Shelf Beauties
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The Benchwarmers You have to admit, producer/mega-star Adam Sandler and his crew know who is most eager for their brand of humor. After The Benchwarmers wasn't shown to critics, I bought a ticket to see it on Friday, and was joined by: 28 boys ages 9 - 12; 8 girls also ages 9 -12 (sisters who got dragged along, I can't imagine any female on the planet would be excitedly attending The Benchwarmers, even if they have a strange crush on Napoleon Dynamite); 2 unfortunate, but responsible Moms (while the other moms just dropped the monsters off at the theater and went to Starbucks or shopping); And, 2 senior citizens who must have wandered into the wrong theater. No one will be surprised that The Benchwarmers is full of potty humor and worse, but this "make work" program for The Friends of Adam Sandler is not a dreadful movie, it's just an inconsequential one with some chuckles along the way. Rob Schneider plays Gus - the owner of a one man landscaping business whose wife, Liz (Molly "You Can't Imagine How Much They Had To Pay Me to Play Someone Willingly Having Sex with Rob Schneider" Simms) is pressuring him to start a family. One day, Gus notices some bullies picking on a helpless nerd at the nearby baseball field. It takes him back to his school days, so, after saving the young lad, he asks his buddies, Clark (Jon "Forever Known As Napoleon Dynamite" Heder) and Richie (David "I'd Like To Be Known For Something" Spade) to hit some baseballs for fun. After challenging and defeating that team of little league bullies trying push the old guys off the field, a billionaire, Mel (Jon Lovitz), organizes a tournament pitting Gus, Clark and Richie against the meanest and toughest little league teams around the area. Will The Benchwarmers be able to defeat the kids? Will they be able to handle all of the pressure as nerds everywhere start to worship them? Sandler's crew with Spade, Schneider and other regulars from his movies (lots of sports stars who appeared in The Longest Yard show up here, too) are akin to a blue collar, lower lowbrow humor squad compared to the juggernaut of Will Ferrell/Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn/Jack Black/Ben Stiller. While both teams can be silly and rely on physical humor and jokes about bodily functions to get some laughs, The Benchwarmers' jokes are less original and more mindless. Writers Allen Covert and Nick Swardson throw in as many booger and fart jokes as any team of writers (or 10-year old boys) could ever imagine, but lose focus when The Benchwarmers takes a turn from absurd comedy to inspirational and meaningful story, neither of which it can ever be. Covert and Swardson's story is passable and with some potential, even though it is juvenile, as we take in the absurdity of three grown men playing baseball against children. They create stereotypical characters in Clark - who appears to be mentally disabled as he travels around on his huge tricycle, delivers newspapers for a living and must wear a bicycle helmet at all times; and Richie - the thirtysomething virgin who works in a video rental store wearing a cheesy teenager-like almost-mustache and the first bowl haircut to hit the silver screen since the death of Moe from The Three Stooges. However, Swardson and Covert add an unnecessary twist that takes our focus off the main story - the little league tournament - and attempts to move us emotionally, when such an effort is not welcome from those who are just looking for mindless humor. This twist section of the movie never needed to be as long as it is, doesn't add any significant drama, and is treated too seriously to be intentionally and over the top funny, especially when this movie relies more on blows to the crotch to bring tears to the audience, instead of big, revealing, candid speeches. The Benchwarmers is a bland movie with some guy movie laughs. 1 ½ Waffles (Out Of 4) Copyright 2006 - WaffleMovies.com
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