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Shelf Beauties
by Willie Waffle
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Barnyard
I hate to say it, but the
makers of Barnyard need to consult some animal
anatomy books. Throughout
the movie, I kept thinking to
myself, “Why do those male cows have udders? And, why
aren’t they called
Bulls?” I
didn’t grow up on a farm, but
even this city slicker knows that.
Suffice
to say, your kid won’t learn anything from Barnyard, but they might need 10
years of therapy after viewing the movie’s fight scenes and
COYOTES ATTACKING
THE FARM. This
stuff makes the tragedy
of Bambi’s Mom and Old Yeller look like amateur hour.
Kevin James provides the
voice of Otis – a fun loving, party animal of a cow who has
no sense of
responsibility. His
father, Ben (Sam
Elliott), is the leader of the farm animals and tries to teach Otis
everything
he can, because, someday, Otis will have to be the leader and protector
of the
farm. Of course,
that day arrives much
sooner than Otis thinks it will, and, now, he has to protect the farm
from COYOTES
who want to make the farm animals into dinner!
Is he brave enough to thwart
the evil coyotes? Will
the other animals
on the farm follow him when needed?
At times, Barnyard
is a
funny movie that keeps you entertained long enough, but I think most
little
kids, who are the likeliest of moviegoers for this film, will have
nightmares
for years to come if you take them.
The
whole storyline and graphic intensity of fighting the coyotes seem like
too
drastic of a contrast with the other part of the movie - how animals
act like
humans when humans are not around, and must hide it.
Writer/director Steve
Oedekerk gives us a simple, but effective, story with plenty of
hilarious sight
gags, including funny twists on human behavior such as a mechanical
bull ride
being a mechanical man ride, dogs really playing poker, and all of the Jersey cows speaking like they
are on The
Sopranos. All
of that proves my point that TALKING
ANIMALS ARE FUNNY, and that part of the story is the most entertaining. I’ll even give
him credit for a touching
storyline about Otis trying to fill his Dad’s shoes
(hooves?), and some decent
dialogue, especially moments between the elder animals and the younger
ones. Even the love
story is OK. However, Barnyard also has some overly
twisted moments.
Barnyard can be downright
creepy sometimes. I’ve
already mentioned
the coyotes, but we also see a pig who likes the smell of bacon, and
another
cow who has to explain how she lost her family during a horrible storm. It seems a bit out of
place with the wackier
parts of the film.
Barnyard goes
on a bit too long, but you have either come to accept it or left the
theater by that time.
2 Waffles (Out Of 4)
Copyright
2006 - WaffleMovies.com
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