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Back Shelf Beauties
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Ask The Dust Sometimes, men have to make very difficult decisions, especially when it comes to this movie, Ask The Dust. On the one hand, the movie stinks and buying a ticket will feel like a waste of valuable cash you could have used to buy beer, a good magazine, pizza or add to your savings account, so you can buy The Godfather video game. On the other hand, you get to see Salma Hayek naked. What's that worth to you? What is the price you put on your soul? Colin "My career is sinking faster than the Titanic" Farrell stars as Arturo Bandini - a writer who sets off to California during the early part of the Depression looking to find fame and fortune. Overly confident, he is ready to take the world by storm after publishing his first short story, but writer's block has set in just as Arturo is running out of money. With his last nickel, Arturo goes off to a small coffee shop for some fresh air and whatever diversion he can find, and meets up with a beautiful waitress, Camilla (Salma Hayek). Instead of love at first sight, the two start spewing verbal bile at each other, but you have to wonder if it masks the passion each one feels deep down in their loins. Will Camilla and Arturo get together? Will Arturo write that book? Colin Farrell needs to fire someone. After starring in Alexander, New World and the production plagued 2006 summer film Miami Vice, he has proven to have the worst luck or judgment ever when it comes to movie selection. Ask The Dust just pushes him further and further into Ben Affleck territory, and that's not somewhere a talented, driven actor wants to be. Sadly, it's not Farrell's fault the movie stinks, it's the whole premise and writer/director Robert Towne's inability to take the story somewhere interesting. Ask The Dust wants to be a romance, but it's the most unromantic movie you will ever see. Towne's script (based on the novel by John Fante) is full of preposterous dialogue, which leaves Farrell and Hayek stuck trying to make this dog work when it can't. It is beyond reason why these two angry, hateful characters would ever get together, and Towne never gives us much reason to change that opinion. We don't get a moment of redemption for either one. We don't see how they have changed and seen something special in each other. The dialogue doesn't draw us into the movie and hope the two of them will find true love. The two characters just hurl invective at each other until Towne decides it's time for them to have some sex. If insulting Salma Hayek is the way to get her to sleep with you, somebody give me her phone number so I can call her a fat cow and enjoy a night of unbridled passion (If Salma is reading this, I want her to know I do not in any way think she is a fat cow. She's hot. One of the hottest women on the planet.). Farrell is fine as the selfish, piggish lead, but it's hard to feel sorry for his character or care if he will be able to get past his writer's block when Arturo screws around with a woman who is mentally unbalanced (a wonderful performance from Idina Menzel, which is wasted because her story doesn't fit into the movie at all and serves no purpose), then acts so cavalierly and NASTY towards Camilla. Hayek makes Camilla strong, but doesn't get a chance to shock us during her ultimate scene because we haven't built up any love for the character. Finally, Donald Sutherland is very good in a supporting role as Arturo's whacked out neighbor, but, much like Menzel, doesn't make much impact on the story as his character seems to be along for the ride rather than making an impact. You get to see Hayek naked, and Ask The Dust still doesn't seem worth the price of admission! 1 Waffle (Out Of 4) Copyright 2006 - WaffleMovies.com
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