|
|
  
Back Shelf Beauties
|
Are We There Yet? I felt more like, "Is It Over Yet?" Are We There Yet? is one of those movies that goes on and on and on beating every bad joke into the ground with all of the mercy of a professional wrestler. I know Ice Cube wants to branch out, but this was a bad way to do it. He's better than this. Ice Cube stars as Nick - a former minor league baseball player who stayed in Portland when his career came to an end. He's done well for himself by starting his own sports collectibles business, and cupid strikes when he sees the sexy Suzanne (Nia Long) waiting across the street from his store. After finding out she has two troublemaking children, Lindsay (Aleisha Allen) and Kevin (Philip Bolden), Nick usually wouldn't give Suzanne the time of day, but she is special. Around New Year's Eve, Nick sees an opportunity to get on her good side, so he agrees to help take her kids to Vancouver for a big New Year's celebration, but the three run into trouble, which leads to a madcap road trip instead of the simple plane ride they are supposed to take. Can Nick get Lindsay and Kevin to Vancouver alive and in time? Will the two kids successfully drive Nick away like they have with all of Mom's boyfriends? Are We There Yet? has about half an hour of story and another hour of filler. Director Brian Levant relies on cartoonish slapstick comedy including plenty of pratfalls, some potty humor, Nichelle Nichols lowering herself for one of the worst sex jokes of the century (I guess the Star Trek money ran out), and people getting hit below the belt for our enjoyment, some of which is funny, but Are We There Yet? treads into dreadful territory thanks to a talking Satchel Page bobblehead doll. Satchel (voice by John Witherspoon) could have been a funny narrator and commentator who keeps the story moving along and gives us some valuable insight as Nick trips over every hurdle in his path, but writers Steven Gary Banks, Claudio Grazioso, J. David Stern and David N. Weiss (it took four writers to produce THIS?!?!?!) thought it would be funnier if Satchel was Nick's best buddy who converses with him! All of the sudden, the audience is taken out of the movie by a silly, unbelievable relationship. Not that the rest of this stuff is very realistic, but it involves enough human beings that you are willing to go along with it to a point. Of course, the writing team doesn't think we have had enough once we come to a true turning point in the movie (one of the movie's more touching moments and a climax that could have led to a decent resolution), so they put more obstacles in Nick's path, most of which are very repetitive, don't give us a new view on the characters and only add to the predictable nature of the entire story. Characters who have had their moment to make us laugh are reintroduced later to help draw out the movie, but you want it to be over by that time. Ice Cube is the only thing in Are We There Yet? that keeps you in the theater. I like Ice Cube. If you have seen either of the Barbershop movies, you know he has charm and good timing, but most of it is wasted on this ridiculous story. He makes Nick into a likable guy who doesn't become overly sugary sweet in some attempt to make him the hero, and earns the love of the audience for his everyman personality. Sadly, Ice Cube has to take some physical abuse, and rolls with it as much as any actor would, but I think the movie would have been better if he wasn't a punching bag throughout. Are We There Yet? is a huge disappointment, but I have a feeling no one was expecting much from it. We all saw the trailers and commercials, so we should have known better than to have high expectations. 1 ½ Waffles (Out Of 4) Copyright 2005 - WaffleMovies.com
|
