Zoolander 2

Why are they making another Zoolander? Was there some sort of petition or rally or something I missed? Did Ben Stiller make some deal with the devil to have one last shot at glory?

Whether you want it or not, Stiller is back as Derek Zoolander – the male model who has suffered nothing but heartache and tragedy since the triumphant end of the first movie.

His wife died in a horrible accident.

His son was taken away from him because he was an unfit father, and his best pal, Hansel (Owen Wilson), was horrifically scarred in that same deadly accident, which ended his modeling career and friendship with the creator of Blue Steel.

Unable to deal with the pain, Zoolander has been living in seclusion, but he has been invited to appear at the hottest fashion show in Rome, and Interpol agent Valentina (Penelope Cruz) believes the invitation is linked to a recent string of pop star murders.

Can Zoolander and Hansel put aside their differences to get to the bottom of the conspiracy?

I guess Stiller thinks celebrity cameos are much funnier than actual jokes, since the cameos outnumber the jokes by about 40 to 1.

Allegedly, Zoolander 2 was written by Stiller, Justin “Mr. Jennifer Aniston” Theroux and two others who should be thanking me for leaving their names out of it, but you get the feeling Stiller was so busy cashing the check he might not have taken the time to fully develop a script, or story, or plot, or joke before heading into production.

Zoolander 2 is an aimless movie with a cloudy, murky plot that seems to change based on nothing related to common sense or good storytelling. Again, the plot doesn’t matter as much as cramming in another pointless celebrity cameo proving nothing more than each celebrity’s desperation to be connected to a successful movie (the joke’s on them!).

The first Zoolander worked on some level because it was spoofing the popular supermodels who were much more a part of pop culture at the time, and the parody was fresh and original. In 2016, models don’t matter as much, and we care even less.

This leaves Stiller and the gang desperately trying to find some jokes in the general stupidity of the characters, and there aren’t enough of those jokes to sustain a trailer let alone the entire film. It becomes a bland, boring, listless, flat movie

Zoolander 2 stinks.

Zoolander 2 is rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, a scene of exaggerated violence, and brief strong language.

102 Minutes