Zookeeper

I like to consider myself someone who is good at his job and knows who will be starring in a potential major summer blockbuster release. Yet, nowhere in any commercial, trailer or late night talk show did I see Zookeeper stars the voices of Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Maya Rudolph or Don Rickles. Are they this ashamed of being in the movie? Sure, they should be, but Hollywood stars usually don't care about that stuff.

Kevin James stars as Griffin - the good natured, hardworking and caring zookeeper at a Boston zoo. Of course, it is not a glamorous job nor is it a well paying one, which causes his girlfriend, Stephanie (Leslie Bibb), to dump him.

Five years later, as his brother is getting married, Stephanie reappears in Griffin's life and makes him reconsider his choices. He could leave the life and take a lucrative job at his brother's car dealership, but the animals at the zoo don't want to lose him, so they start to teach Griffin to get in touch with his animal magnetism, so he can win the girl without leaving them behind.

You know I love a movie with talking animals, but Hollywood seems intent on destroying the genre with Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Marmaduke and The Chronicles of Narnia. Zookeeper will not be the film that saves it.

Zookeeper is one of those movies trying so hard to be everything, it doesn't do anything all that well. With 5 screenwriters (yes, 5!), it's no wonder where Zookeeper went wrong. At one moment, it is a goofy movie about talking animals to make kids laugh. The next moment, it is a buddy movie as everyone pitches in to help Griffin and he brings a surly gorilla out of his shell. Then, without much of a chance to switch gears, Zookeeper becomes a movie about one man's quest to figure out how to stay true to himself. Oh, and you know we are going to get a totally clichéd, predictable romance tossed in, complete with a last minute chase to win her heart BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

Ugh.

Zookeeper is not the most disgusting, disgraceful and disastrous movie of the year, but I wish I could see James doing something better. He makes the most of the silly situations that call on him to engage in physical comedy to make little children laugh, but he can be so much more. James doesn't get a chance to humanize Griffin and make us care about him, which is one of the actor's strengths.

Meanwhile, your kids might be a little surprised at a song about smoking and toking that pops up, while you might be cringing as Griffin learns to "mark his territory" in a sequence that goes on way too long. We lose the story with the animals for much too long, and for so long that kids will be squirming in their seats as Griffin gets in that lovey dovey story stuff that will drive the youngest ones into a stupor.

Zookeeper is one of those movies best forgotten.

Zookeeper is rated PG for some rude and suggestive humor, and language.