Warcraft

I am someone who openly embraces the words Wookiee and Vulcan, and even I am thinking this is junk.

Toby Kebbell provides the voice of Durotan – a proud Orc warrior and leader of a clan that is not all that happy with Gul’dan (voice by Daniel Wu when the part is screaming out for Nicolas Cage), who uses his sorcery to open up a portal to the human world in an attempt to use humans to further strengthen his powers (for EVIL!!!!!).

Travis Fimmel stars as Lothar – a proud human warrior and confidante to the King (Dominic Cooper) who leads many of their battles against the Orcs and finds himself trying to figure out what to make of the one Orc prisoner they have captured, Garona (Paula “Making Green the new Sexy” Patton).

Then, a whole bunch of fights break out, swordplay ensues and some witchcraft is used to both cause havoc and save the day.

Warcraft is one of the worst movies of the year with horrendous dialogue, third rate computer graphics and a story destined to solve your insomnia issues.

It’s very hard to write a good movie, but computer graphics are so advanced these days, the low quality of what you see here in Warcraft stands out in all of the wrong ways.

The real life action, backgrounds and people don’t mesh well with the created creatures and vice versa. It is too easy to tell when a human actor is in front of a green screen or interacting with a computer character.

Did they use some sort of techniques from the 1980s? Was the budget running low and they could only afford some abandoned computers from a bankrupt country that was part of the former Soviet Union?

Worst of all, The Orcs look like a cross between a walrus and a gorilla. Their phoniness destroys any hope the audience might have had to be drawn into this mystical world for two hours.

When you can’t take the lead characters seriously, the movie is dead on arrival, especially as the story goes on and on and on without anything of substance to engage the audience and a series of moments clearly designed to inspire a sequel or two or three (if this movie doesn’t completely decimate the studio).

Warcraft is the dreck of the dreck.

Warcraft is rated PG - 13 for extended sequences of intense fantasy violence.

123 Minutes