|
|
  
Back Shelf Beauties
|
Unleashed Unleashed is one of those truly cursed movies that never had a chance from the moment writer Luc Besson sat down at his computer and typed out the script. Maybe someone should rub his nose in the script, so Besson will never do it again. Jet Li stars as Danny the Dog - a slave trained by a Scottish loan shark, Bart (Bob Hoskins), to be the ultimate killing machine. Kept like a dog in a cage and collar, Danny is treated badly to make him nastier and more deadly when commanded to do the bidding of his twisted master. One day, Danny is separated from Bart and forms a friendship with Sam (Morgan Freeman) - a wise blind man who tunes pianos for a living while raising a deceased friend's 18-year old daughter, Victoria (Kerry Condon). Sam brings him home like a stray puppy and starts to educate Danny about the world, but you have a feeling danger is never far away. Will Danny's past come back to haunt him? Will it put Sam and Victoria in danger? Some movies are badly conceived, but Unleashed is laughably unfathomable and only gets worse as characters make decisions that are beyond ridiculous and we learn more about the background of each one. Are we truly supposed to believe a man like Sam will bring home a strange, weird acting, somewhat violent guy to live with an 18-year old girl in the house? Sam is blind, but not dumb. Are we supposed to believe certain characters would keep key pieces of evidence that will ultimately lead to their downfall once found? I guess that's just so Besson and director Louis Leterrier have some way to end the madness they call a movie. Are we supposed to believe a man like Danny could be controlled like this when he sees the outside world on a regular basis, hears the conversations of others, can kick the living junk out of everyone else and harbors some intelligence? The rest of the film is just as absurd from premise to execution. Hoskins, Li, Condon and Freeman all earnestly try to make their characters work, but the idiotic dialogue and scenarios betray their efforts. Hoskins' rants, raves and white suits make him into a grimy underworld Boss Hogg who only lacks some Duke boys to chase around Hazzard. Freeman plays the wise old man role better than just about anyone in the business, but his speeches and metaphors used to educate Danny (especially the moment when Sam tells Danny he's just like family) are third rate (blame the writing), often resulting in unintentional comedy that starts uncontrollable giggling in the audience. Victoria's naiveté as an 18-year old in modern times, especially an 18-year old supposedly living in the roughest neighborhood in all of Scotland, is beyond unbelievable and hopelessly carried out by Condon as she tries to grin and bear it, probably thankful she found a role where she didn't have to do some nudity (However, because she's a young, pretty girl, Condon likely will be forced to do an almost pornographic photo spread for some hormonally charged men's magazine like FHM, Stuff or Maxim. It's a sad right of passage for today's young actresses.). Finally, Li is along to show his amazing skills in the fight scenes, but his attempts at winning our sympathy as Danny as he is filled with amazement and the wonder of discovery at the world around him causes the most chuckles. Unleashed should be sent to the doghouse not the Cineplex. The fight scenes are cool, but nothing else in this movie is worth seeing for the first time or ever again. -1 Waffle (Out of 4) Copyright 2005 - WaffleMovies.com
|
