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Back Shelf Beauties
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Underworld:Evolution The worst part of Underworld:Evolution is when Kate Beckinsale's character starts into her narration, which promises/threatens a third Underworld movie. The first one was OK. This one is bad. I don't think I could live through a third. Beckinsale is back in her sexy tight leather outfit to play Selene - a vampire death merchant who used to battle werewolves, also known as Lycans, in a massive Vampire-Werewolf smackdown. In the last movie, which is recapped for those who can't remember, she discovered a hybrid, Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman), who is part vampire and part lycan. She also eliminated the vampire leader, so Selene and Michael are on the run trying to find out the big secret that could change everything! Along the way, we learn the mysterious Lorenz Macaro (Derek Jacobi) is looking for some ancient keys, and the powerful vampire Marcus (Tony Curran) has risen again (Yeah, a lot of stuff happens in this movie). Will Selene and Michael discover the truth of their origins before it is too late? Can they stop evil? Does Kate Beckinsale get naked? Underworld:Evolution is all about the gore, blood and killing with some prurient, but ultimately disappointing, titillation thrown in. Sadly, some people will take that as an endorsement instead of as a condemnation. Director Len Wiseman and writer Danny McBride throw a great deal of information at the audience, but it is never the focus of the movie, and not all that important as the film progresses. Underworld:Evolution is about how many ways they can gross out the audience with werewolves and vampires killing with methods we have seen before, but with a little extra blood thrown in as the plot goes through the motions. Wiseman clumsily reveals the plot twists with very little build up, tension or drama because he's more interested in the next kill scene. Then, he forces the audience to watch the most awkward love scene I have witnessed in a long time as Michael and Selene decide to get it on (unfortunately, Wiseman always has something blocking our view of Beckinsale's goodies, and Speedman seems to be thrusting into her belly button, which I'm pretty sure is not how you do it, even if you are doing the horizontal mambo with a vampire). Throughout it all, Beckinsale just looks breathlessly sexy, but not much more acting is needed. While Speedman's main task is growling during several second rate special effects driven transformations into his vampire/werewolf alter ego (and during the aforementioned knocking boots scene), Beckinsale runs, jumps, kicks, punches and pouts her lips all while wearing the tightest leather outfit seen this side of a dominatrix's dungeon or a rap video. She doesn't add much emotion, but it's not called for either. At least she's better than the usually fantastic Bill Nighy, slumming it in this film as the evil vampire leader who slobbers and salivates his way through a couple campy speeches that must have required the camera crew to wipe down the lens with a large towel after every take. Underworld:Evolution is more like a devolution. The third one could be so bad, it is released direct to DVD. Maybe they can make it one of those uncensored director's cuts to spice things up a bit, or make it an easier sell to Cinemax. 1 Waffle (Out Of 4) Copyright 2006 - WaffleMovies.com
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