Transformers:
Age Of Extinction
Transformers:
Age Of Extinction will remind
you of every reason why you love and hate Michael Bay.
Mark “Don’t Call Me Marky Mark” Wahlberg
stars as Cade – the only Texan in the world who sounds like
he was born and raised in South Boston. He is a failing inventor with
big dreams and a teenage daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz), who looks
amazingly fetching in short shorts and mini-skirts. One day, Daddy is
salvaging some relics from a rundown movie theater when he finds an
old, beaten up semi-truck that isn’t like all of the other
semis.
Before you know it, some CIA dudes show up looking to take control of
that semi because, yep, it’s Optimus Prime (voice by Peter
Cullen)!!!!! CIA black ops leader Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) is
dedicated to wiping out the Autobots after the events of the last
Transformers
movie, and he has forged an unholy alliance with another
Decepticon, Lockdown (voice by Mark Ryan), who wants to destroy Optimus
Prime.
Can Cade and Tessa save Optimus Prime?
Why is Attinger so dedicated to the cause?
What does Lockdown want with Optimus Prime?
Does any of this really matter?
None of it every really matters! Transformers:
Age Of Extinction is everything
you expected this movie to be.
Director Michael Bay knows how to blow stuff up, fill the movie with
lots of eye candy, and make the Transformers look very very cool in the
process.
Then, he works with a script from Ehren Kruger full of some of
the worst dialogue you will ever hear in a movie. Thankfully, Transformers:
Age Of Extinction can be seen in
3D, so those glasses will hold your eyeballs in place as you roll them
at each bad pun, stupid attempt at humor and the most unnecessary love
story of the year. It’s embarrassingly simple dialogue. Worst
of all, just when you think they have dispatched with a horrible comic
relief character, Kruger writes in another one! You can’t
escape this script if you wanted to.
Plus, Bay is going to beat you into submission. We have chase after
chase and fight after fight. Sure, it’s all derivative, even
if some of the scenes are kind of cool. Every time you think,
“Here we go again?”, Bay then tosses in some neat
piece of filmmaking or special effect. You will be shocked at an
amazingly frightening cable walk, and you have to admire the new
Transformers and the new way some of them actually transform.
Bay might drive you crazy with some of Transformers:
Age Of Extinction, but he always
seems to bring you back from the edge at just the right time, even if
the movie just keeps going and going and going.
Transformers:
Age Of Extinction is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi
violence and action, language and brief innuendo.
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