When I heard Michael Bay was doing Transformers, I was scared and skeptical.  I kept having visions of Gigli, Basic Instinct 2 and Alexander dancing in my head (or me screaming my voice hoarse in my own personal version of Hell’s Kitchen).  It turns out I was wrong.  Transformers is an exciting summer movie, even if you never watched the show or read the comic books. 

Shia LaBeouf stars as Sam Witwicky – your typical teenager living the life of angst over not being one of the cool kids, and pining away for the girl of his dreams, Mikaela (Megan Fox).  For a school project, Sam has collected items and keepsakes from his great grandfather’s 19^th century expedition to the Arctic.  While there, Witwicky made headlines for claiming to see a massive, undiscovered ice man.  Now, all anyone has are his broken eyeglasses, which Sam’s trying to sell on e-Bay.

Finally, it looks like Sam’s life might be turning around.  His father has agreed to help him buy a car, but all Sam can afford is a beat up old Camaro (longtime fans of the Transformers will note the difference, but there is a joke for you when you pay attention).  However, that Camaro is about change Sam’s life and propel him into the middle of a galactic war between the Autobots and Decepticons (just saying the words Decepticons and Autobots in the presence of a woman leads to a month of chastity). 

Will the Decepticons succeed in taking over Earth as their new home planet?  Can Sam and the Autobots stop them?

Transformers has some of the best action you will see all summer long, but it’s the transformation of robots to everyday electronics and back again that will blow your mind.  Anyone familiar with the Transformers knows that they transform back and forth from cars or trucks or radios into their robot form, but I was amazed at how seamless and natural it looked on screen.  Add that to the eye-popping robot smackdowns and good old fashioned car chases, and you have a movie that is going to get your blood pumping and your heartbeat racing.  Director Michael Bay and the special effects wizards at Industrial Light and Magic even have the Transformers moving like ninjas, which looks super cool.     

While writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman throw in a few funny jokes about Bay’s work and Transformers lore, most of the script is average at best, and clunky at its worst.  Orci and Kurtzman try too hard to fill the movie with comedy when it is not needed, especially early on, then give our Transformers heroes some awful speeches that are supposed to be inspirational, but make you wonder if they are smarter than a fifth grader.  Maybe they are trying to simplify everything to make kids happy, but Orci and Kurtzman went too far.  

Bay goes for an ending action sequence that is much too long, but when focused on action and drama, Transformers is a thrilling movie that’s perfect for the holiday week. 

3 Waffles (Out of 4)

Transformers is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor and language. 

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