You almost have to see Step Up Revolution to know how idiotic
it truly is. It's a movie written by people who want us to believe the
Mayor of Miami and a Donald Trump-like business tycoon would be willing
to scuttle a multi-million dollar land development deal if a bunch of
kids show up and start dancing! Yes, you have to imagine the Mayor
thinking to himself, "I know this development deal would create
hundreds of jobs and help increase tourism profits by millions, and I
did receive that big fat campaign contribution from the developer, but
the girl over there in the hot pants and with the tats and getting all
crunk is changing my mind and making a valuable economic and socially
responsible argument against this plan. Maybe I just got served."
Get ready for every movie cliché ever as Ryan Guzman stars as
Sean - the kid from the wrong side of the tracks with perfect 3-day
stubble who, by day, is a waiter at one of Miami's poshest hotels, and,
by night, leads a flash mob dance group determined to win an internet
contest awarding $100,000 to someone who can get 10,000,000 views of
Then, he meets Emily (Kathryn McCormick) - the rich girl who just wants
to dance who keeps resisting her father's (Peter Gallagher) begging to
give up that silly, frivolous dance dream to become a successful hotel
magnate like him. That's right! He owns the hotel where Sean works! The
Of course, Daddy (Warbucks) has a plan to build a new hotel, and it
stands to destroy Sean's neighborhood, so the dance group isn't just
dancing to entertain anymore. Oh no. They are dancing to save the world
(OK, they are dancing to save the neighborhood, but SAVE THE WORLD
sounds so much more dramatic).
Will Sean and Emily be able to find true love
as their loyalties could pull them in different directions?
Will either be able to achieve the dream of dancing?
I couldn't get out of the theater fast enough.
Step Up Revolution challenges my vocabulary. I
can only say it stinks in so many different ways.
Director Scott Speer does a decent job showcasing all of the amazing
dancing on screen, but he seems more interested in making a dance video
instead of a movie. Of course, that's because he doesn't have a script
to do much with.
Writer Jenny Mayer presents wooden caricatures instead of characters,
while serving up the seen-it-a-million-times story about Romeo and
Juliet trying to find true love as they end up on opposite sides of the
warring factions. Plus, Emily is trying to get into a prestigious dance
troupe, and Sean figures he can meld his moves straight from the mean
streets of Miami with her more traditionally and classically educated
style to help her excel. It's like she'll be a better dancer if he just
puts a little peanut butter in her chocolate.
Of course, the worst part of the script for Step Up Revolution
is how it feels manufactured from some studio executive meeting. It's
as if they sat around a boardroom table and said stuff like, "kids
today like graffiti, so someone should do some graffiti, and they like
the internet and putting videos on there, so we should have someone do
that! Oh! And, flash mobs. Gotta get some flash mobs in there!" At what
point will those kids, who think everything they do makes them superior
to previous generations, realize people from a previous generation just
co-opted what they love to take money out of their pockets for a 3D
movie that is so horrendous it crosses over into a 4th dimension. It
stinks, so it could be in one of those theaters with smell-o-vision.
Step Up Revolution is rated PG-13 for some
suggestive dancing and language.