Step Up 3D

It's like West Side Story and Singing in the Rain had a three way with the devil, and this was the result.

Rick Malambri and his perfectly landscaped 3-day stubble star as Luke - a burgeoning filmmaker who runs a hip hop version of Andy Warhol's Factory he calls The Vault. It's a halfway house for talented dancers Luke says were, "Born From A Boom Box" (which is not a nice way to refer to these urchins' mothers).

Of course, The Vault is having financial difficulty and Luke's crew, The Pirates, needs to win the big dance competition against their biggest rivals, The Samurai, who are led by a former member of their crew who wants revenge (So Shakespearean!). Luke thinks he might have found the key to winning when he meets Natalie (Sharni Vinson) and Moose (Adam Sevani, who starred in Step Up 2 The Streets, so he's here to keep the "integrity" of the franchise alive, along with co-star Alyson Stoner, who was in Step Up, which totally completes the trilogy).

Will The Pirates defeat The Samurai?

Can Luke and Natalie find true love?

Will Moose be able to keep his love of dance alive?

So, you think you can dance? Step Up 3D's only redeeming quality is a series of dance sequences so in your face you might think you got served. Then, it also includes the most ludicrous scene in any 2010 movie, when Moose is challenged to a dance off in a club's restroom. You have to see it to believe it.

Of course, I hope you never see Step Up 3D. Writers Amy Andelson and Emily Meyer, along with director Jon Chu take from every classic movie and story you can think of, which leads to a predictable story with tired clichés and horrible flirtatious dialogue that even made the teens in my audience laugh hysterically at the utter horribleness of this film. They even dress up Moose with a series of wool caps that made me want to call Michael Nesmith from The Monkees to encourage him to sue.

Worst of all, Andelson, Meyer and Chu seem to think it's OK for our "heroes" to steal and destroy other people's property as long as they are dancing. I know that sounds nitpicky, but it happens multiple times throughout the movie, and bugged me every time.

Please let this be the end. I don't think I can handle Step Up 4Ever.

Step Up 3D is rated PG-13 for brief strong language.