Shutter
0 Waffles!


Sadly, the scariest part of Shutter was before the movie started, when a mouse came running down the theater stairs towards my friends and I. Eek!

Joshua Jackson (I hope he saved his Dawson’s Creek money) and Rachael Taylor (I like how you dyed your hair blonde to look prettier, but don’t forget the eyebrows next time, especially for a “scary” movie where the director will be focusing close-ups on your facial reactions) star as newlyweds Ben and Jane. While their life seems awesome with a fantastic apartment, lots of cash and frequent newlywed activities, this is a horror movie, so you know that will come to a quick end.

Ben is a photographer who has lined up a big assignment in Tokyo thanks to some help from a couple of his buddies, but tragedy strikes when the two lovebirds are driving down a foggy road and hit a mysterious young lady. When Ben and Jane come to, there is no trace of the injured Japanese girl, but the incident haunts Jane, especially when images of the girl start showing up in their photos.

What happened to that accident victim?

Is she trying to send a message?

Shutter is a flat, boring, lifeless movie pro-environmental groups ought to protest as a waste of natural resources. Perhaps 20th Century Fox could buy some carbon credits to make good for what they have perpetrated on movie going audiences around the world (or give some free popcorn to people who buy tickets to their next movie), since everything about Shutter is an abject failure.

First, director Masayuki Ochiai can’t shock the audience. None of these “startling” photos with ghostly figures come close to raising a hair on the back of your neck, even if the theater’s air conditioning accidentally turned on halfway through the film. Even when our ghost starts to appear in Ben and Jane’s apartment, she’s just sitting in a chair as if she is some sort of hostess who might as well be offering you a cold refreshing beverage.

Second, the writing isn’t much better than the direction. Writer Luke Dawson provides a script that fails to get Shutter rolling along until about half way through, and probably 10 – 20 minutes after you gave up caring. The audience is left mentally wandering around like Jane is walking the streets of Tokyo looking to kill time (if we have learned anything from American remakes of Asian horror movies, it is that white girls with time on their hands will always end up in some sort of ghastly trouble).

We know the plot should start some time during the movie, but it comes about much too late. Dawson tries to get Jane interested in spirit photography to help develop the plot, but drops that as quickly as possible, lest we puzzle the audience with theories, science, debunking or any other information one might confuse with learning or basic problem solving. Then, he tries to make Jane into Nancy Drew as she goes off investigating the flimsiest of clues, which, of course, lead to massive revelations! Common sense is not the audience’s friend when you watch Shutter, so don’t try to figure it out.

You know what else bothers me about Shutter? The ghost’s intensions and methods change throughout the movie. Is she sending a message? Looking for revenge? Trying to attack Jane? Once you see Shutter’s resolution, you are confused why the ghost acted in certain ways earlier on, but I have a feeling Ochiai and Dawson were just as confused, or figured you would be too bored to question these moments.

Finally, Dawson starts to throw in every possible scenario he can think of to get us interested towards the conclusion and give our ghost some sort of motivation for her actions. Of course, this leads to a movie that just won’t end! You reach for your jacket and think sweet relief is but a few moments away. However, Dawson wants to throw in another nonsensical twist that just keeps you in your seat for a few minutes longer, sapping away valuable energy you need to hustle out of the theater and towards the box office to demand your money back.

Shutter is rated PG-13 for terror, disturbing images, sexual content and language