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by Willie Waffle

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Shrek The Third

Poor Shrek.  He has become the Joe Camel of the food wars with advocacy groups attacking DreamWorks and other companies for daring to have a cartoon character promoting M&M’s, McDonald’s Happy Meals and breakfast cereals.  McDonald’s is even using a thinner version of Shrek in its promotion of the healthier version of Happy Meals, which is just a great way to promote positive body image with the fat kids out there by proving you can only be accepted and successful in society by getting thinner.  How many anorexics will be born from this idea?  Then, Shrek’s new movie makes it look like he is Shaquille O’Neal – a once great warrior who can only achieve the highest levels of achievement and performance in short bursts.

Off in the land Far Far Away, Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) are forced to take over the duties of the King (John Cleese) and Queen (Julie Andrews), when the King passes away (in an awkwardly funny and supposedly sad scene).  However, Shrek has no intension of taking on the title and responsibilities, and still dreams of moving back to his beloved swamp where he can live a quiet life with Fiona.  To avoid ascending to the crown, Shrek and his sidekicks, Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas) and Donkey (Eddie Murphy), head off to find the only other heir to the throne – teenage loner and outcaste, Cousin Arthur (Justin Timberlake).  When they are away, the evil Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) decides to launch a diabolical plot to take over Far Far Away.

Will Prince Charming succeed?  Will Arthur want to be King?  Is he ready?    

Normally, I believe movies should be judged on their own merits and failures, but a sequel inherently asks the ticket buyer (or dupes them) to see this movie because he or she loved the previous installments, so comparison seems in order.  Based on that, Shrek The Third will entertain the young ones with its slapstick antics and frequent references to poop and puke (kids can’t get enough poop and puke jokes.  Parents, on the other hand, may want to avoid eating anything during the movie), but the movie falls short of providing the same excellent, witty dialogue and stories full of pop culture references that Shrek and Shrek 2 did (it feels like the producers are more interested in product placement than the kind of pop reference placement we love).  It’s not as smart, not as soulful and not as good, even if it is good enough to go see and enjoy.   

Directors Chris Miller and Raman Hui, and at least 5 screenwriters, don’t give us the excitement, or comedy we expect from a Shrek movie.  We don’t get the cool movie and TV parodies like we did in Shrek 2 and Shrek, aside from one hilarious sequence with Gingerbread Man and an homage to Buster Keaton only hard core movie geeks will get. 

Then, Shrek The Third is a movie on a breakneck pace because it never stops to develop anything.  It’s an extremely simple plot that moves from point A to B to C without much examination or teaching us about the characters involved.

Most of all, Shrek The Third lacks heart.  In the first two movies, we were cheering for Shrek because he was being duped by those with ill intent, struggled with his self-image, attempted to win the love of his life, showed us his heart of gold and tried to win the approval of his new wife’s family.  In Shrek The Third, he is being deceitful and selfish as he tries to get Arthur to take over as king so he can escape responsibility.  That’s just not very admirable.

Before you start to think I hated the movie, let’s talk about what was good.  Banderas is fantastic as Puss In Boots with his Don Juan ways and swashbuckling attitude.  Some of it will seem familiar, but Banderas is so good, you laugh all over again.  Gingerbread Man (a/k/a Gingy) continues to steal every scene in which he appears with a moxy and toughness you don’t expect from a tiny little cookie decorated with candy, but Conrad Vernon (who did the voice of Gingy in the first two movies, so I assume he has done so here as well) adds just a slight touch of vulnerability that wins over the audience and makes us worry about the little guy whenever he is in danger.  Also, Amy Poehler is perfect as a very snooty Snow White, who would fit in well on the set of Sex and The City or Grey’s Anatomy.      

Overall, Shrek The Third is a funny visit with familiar characters that will make you laugh, but we don’t learn much new about them, don’t have the same emotional response and don’t leave hoping for a fourth.    

2 ½ Waffles (Out of 4)

Shrek The Third is rated PG for some crude humor, suggestive content and swashbuckling action. 

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