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Shelf Beauties |
Saw III The Saw
trilogy has taken a
huge downward spiral in quality over the course of the three movies,
and
Lionsgate’s refusal to show Saw III
to critics may be the biggest proof you will
ever need. The
relationship between
critics and Lionsgate has become like a marriage gone bad as the movies
get
worse and worse. For the first Saw,
Lionsgate
(or Lions Gate as they were back then) invited DC critics to come see
the movie
with director James Wan and writer/star Leigh Wannell.
They knew they had something good on their
hands and needed the publicity, so the flirting began as Lions Gate
pulled out
all of the stops to win us over. I
even
went out drinking and talking movies with Wan until midnight, and Lions
Gate
paid for it! They
were trying to get me
all liquored up to see if I would lower my inhibitions, and it kind of
worked
with all of us. Saw turned out to be a
surprise hit with some good reviews, and everyone was happy. Our relationship with
Lions Gate and Saw was new
and exciting as the studio played footsie under the table with us
critics, and
batted its long luscious eyelashes in a come hither motion, as we
dreamed of
what might be next.
For the second Saw, gone was
the wining and dining and access to stars.
Lionsgate (still Lions Gate back then) quietly
showed Saw II to critics
one lonely afternoon just barely before many writers’
deadlines, but it was a
robotic-like effort as Lions Gate went through the motions with no
feeling, and
you knew they were faking it just to get it over with.
The franchise lost its soul to become a
simple slasher film with the typical characters, twists and turns, with
more of
a focus on blood than surprises (and it starred Donnie Wahlberg because
brother
Marky Mark Wahlberg was too good for something like this). Alas, the relationship was
on the rocks as
Lions Gate paid less attention to us, didn’t bring us flowers
anymore, and
seemed distant and distracted as we shared our reviews of the movie. In a way, they told us to
go sleep on the
couch as they went out to find a new lover. Now,
Lionsgate wants a divorce. No
critics
get to see Saw III. We have been evicted
like Oscar Madison and Felix Unger, forced to give all of our attention
to
Catch a Fire
and Running With Scissors.
Sure, the new movies are exciting, but we long for
those good old days
when Lionsgate loved us wholeheartedly, instead of just looking for a
booty
call when one of their smaller movies like Deliver Us
From Evil comes out. If
you listen closely, you can hear the drunk dialing
starting already, "C'mon baby. You know you want to see the movie
about the pedophile priest. Tell everyone about the movie we
won't be running any commercials for." Maybe it's time I stopped
answering the phone.
Incomplete
Waffles
(Out Of 4)
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