The Reader

Complete with clichés and plot twists that scream, “GIVE ME AN OSCAR,” you might think Tina Fey and Jon Stewart decided to write The Reader as a parody of an Oscar hopeful, but it turns out we’re supposed to take it seriously, if you can hold back your desire to laugh out loud.

Set in 1958 Germany, Kate Winslet stars as Hanna Schmitz – a trolley worker who takes pity on a young, sick boy, Michael Berg (David Kross). The fifteen year old kid is suffering from Scarlet Fever, and, after recovering, returns to Hanna’s home to thank her for her kindness.

Of course, she shows him a little more than kindness as this meeting leads to a torrid affair where Hanna seduces the young buck, teaches him all sorts of new positions (yes, this is a scene in the movie, ICK!), and helps him experience more of life (and sex. Lots of sex. It is every 15-year old boy’s dream). In return, he reads books to her (compelling every teen boy in America to run out and get a library card).

Mysteriously, Hanna breaks up with the boy and disappears, but, years later, Michael sees her again when his law school class takes a trip to witness a Nazi war crime trial and Hanna is one of the defendants!!!!!

Is Hanna guilty?

What did she do?

Can Michael help prove her innocence?

Does he want to?

Was this movie written by someone who works on General Hospital?

I have never seen a movie with so much hype that turned out to be this unsexy, boring, and dreadful. It’s a movie that has no passion and no fire when the story cries out for it. The Reader is not a single movie with a compelling plot and characters you want to learn about. It’s three pieces of a movie that have been shoved together instead of weaved.

The Reader has no ebb and flow. It’s emotionally flat and the relationship between Hanna and Michael is as far away from romance as you can get, made even creepier by the fact that he is underage.

Then, director Stephen Daldry and writer David Hare (based on the novel by Bernhard Schlink) try to gin up some drama as we realize Michael knows something about Hanna that could partially exonerate her during the trial, but it is so melodramatic and we have given up so long ago, that the impact is minimal.

Finally, The Reader keeps going and going and going until it thankfully limps along to and ending that is silly. It wants to be an epic tale of love and lust, but is more of a tale of laughs and giggles.

The Reader is rated R for some scenes of sexuality and nudity.