Paul Blart:Mall Cop

It’s Die Hard meets Home Alone on a segway! Except, Kevin James is not as cute as Macaulay Culkin and not as tough as Bruce Willis.

James stars as Paul Blart – a wannabe New Jersey State Trooper who can’t pass the exam, so he has spent the last 10 years of his life working as a security guard at a local mall. He’s kind of lonely, overly dedicated to his job, and the subject of ridicule everywhere he turns, but Paul is about to get a chance to change all of that. A group of thieves has invaded the mall and taken hostages, and Paul is the only one who might be able to stop them.

Does Paul have what it takes to save the day?

James is a funny guy, but he misses an opportunity to do what he does best, and he can only blame himself. As the co-writer of the movie (along with Nick Bakay), James makes Blart too idiotic to be the lovable underdog he needs to be to make the audience root for him.

Instead, the movie swings wildly from slapstick to serious drama to silly love story, with director Steve Carr never stopping long enough for the audience to find some emotionally ground to stand steadily on. Any one of these tones could have worked on their own with some dedication and creativity, but the script and movie in general feels slapped together.

James does what he can to keep the audience’s interest, but Paul Blart:Mall Cop drags on and on with several possible endings passed over in favor of extending the movie until you don’t care if he saves the day.

Paul Blart:Mall Cop is rated PG for some violence, mild crude and suggestive humor, and language.