Knowing
0 Waffles!

You know how you see these TV commercials and newspaper ads that proclaim how you will “be on the edge of your seat” if you go see Knowing or whatever other movie is being promoted this week? This time, the advertising is telling the truth. You will be on the edge of your seat the entire time … constantly trying to work up the will to just walk away from this monster before it destroys your love of movies and Nicolas Cage forever.

Cage stars as astro-physicist John Koestler – a man who doesn’t believe in fate, a higher power, or a bigger plan for the universe, after tragically losing his wife. At the 50-year anniversary celebration of a time capsule being buried at his son’s school, the young boy, Caleb (Chandler Canterbury), is handed a note from the capsule with a series of mysterious numbers. As John starts to look more closely at the numbers, and realizes they predict some of the worst disasters of the last 50 years, and some disaster that haven’t happened yet!

Can John save the people who are in danger?

Do you want to stick around to find out?

Knowing is one of the worst movies of the year, without a doubt or question in my mind. It’s not one element or aspect of Knowing that lets you down, but just about everything from the opening credits to the closing credits (OK, maybe all of the words and names in the credits are spelled correctly, so not everything).

Sadly, somewhere along the line, Cage decided to attend the William Shatner school of acting as he shockingly and constantly jumps from quiet to overly melodramatic quicker than it would take Carrie Underwood to call for security if I ran into her in a bar and started flirting. Yet, Cage is like the bad boyfriend you can’t give up. Time and time again, he hurts you. Let’s you down. Constantly, disappoints you. Yet, you like Cage and root for him to be good in every movie because once in a while he does something that makes you believe again.

The rest of the film is just as silly. Director Alex Proyas attempts to make Knowing a creepy, moody film that tries to get under your skin, but it’s boring instead of creepy as we amble from scene to scene without getting all that excited, scared, or interested. Then, we get these strange, menacing dudes who are trying to contact Caleb, but instead of looking scary, they look like models from a Swedish Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue.

Knowing is emotionally flat as it drags on to a conclusion that you don’t care about and don’t need to stick around to see because, as the movie becomes more fantastical, it gets harder and harder to take it seriously.

Knowing is rated PG-13 for disaster sequences, disturbing images and brief strong language.