The
Huntsman:
Winter's War
In what is billed as a prequel to Snow
White and The Huntsman, but
truly is a prequel and a sequel all combined into one (because the
creative forces behind this mess can’t even make a wise
decision about that), Chris Hemsworth is back as The Huntsman, also
known as Eric (Eric isn't as intimidating).
We learn that he and other children in this crazy land have been stolen
from their families to be turned into warriors for the evil Queen Freya
(Emily Blunt).
Of course, she has this massive backstory about how she was the loyal
sister to Ravenna (Charlize Theron), but Freya fell in love and had a
baby out of wedlock with a man who was betrothed to another. That baby
was a threat to Ravenna’s power, and mysteriously was
murdered in a horrible fire.
Now, Freya lives a life denouncing love, and teaching the warriors
around her to do the same, but, as he grows up, Eric falls for another
warrior, Sara (Jessica Chastain), which leads to tragedy and The
Huntsman being expelled from the kingdom.
Then (if you are still trying to
pay attention and follow along), it
becomes all about finding the Mirror Mirror On The Wall, some dwarves
show up and lots of arrows start flying around.
Did you make it all the way to this point in the review? You deserve a
prize, and The Huntsman:
Winter’s War is not
it. Buy yourself an ice cream sandwich at the concession stand to
dampen the pain and anguish.
As the narrator, poor Liam Neeson faces the biggest acting challenge of
anyone in the film. He has to act as if the words he is reading are
exciting and interesting.
The Huntsman:
Winter’s War is a
boring, disjointed, horribly told story filled with ill advised
attempts at comic relief and sluggish romance that would turn any one
of us into a warrior for celibacy.
Director Cedric Nicolas-Troyan and the co-writers Craig Mazin and Evan
Spiliotopoulos appear to be patching together three or four different
stories hoping you won’t notice how clunky the entire
enterprise becomes. Any one of these might have been good enough to be
its own movie, but the audience gets flavors of each one instead of a
hearty tale (yet, we also get threatened with a sequel, I figured they
must have run out of material in this one).
The Huntsman:
Winter’s War is a
perfect example of a movie where they put so much more effort into the
special effects. Goblins, morphing characters and plenty of Elsa-like
ice creation might capture your eye, but nothing in the movie will
capture your soul.
The
Huntsman: Winter’s War is rated PG-13 for fantasy action
violence and some sensuality.
114 Minutes
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