Hitman:
Agent 47
It’s the sequel no one asked for! How many of you even knew it
was a sequel?
Rupert Friend assumes the role of Agent 47 (originally played by
Timothy Olyphant, who is a tougher, buffer, meaner, butcher version of
Ryan Seacrest). This super soldier synthesized in a laboratory has been
hired to track down a mysterious lady, Katia (Hannah Ware), who could
be the key to finding a scientist who created the entire Agent program.
A blandly, clumsily named secret organization (with very posh corporate
headquarters and many employees with German accents), The Syndicate,
also wants to find this scientist to start the program all over again,
but Agent 47 has other plans.
If you didn’t follow any of that,
don’t worry. It doesn’t matter.
Director Aleksander Bach is interested in slow motion explosions, car
chases and badly filmed hand-to-hand combat. Plot seems to be an
obstacle to whatever spectacle of clichés he is trying to
provide us.
Depth and emotion are 4-letter words in this tale as we see some lame,
half-hearted attempts to make Katia’s struggle poignant, but gun
fire interrupts Ware before some tears can be shed (yet, they find time
to have her shed her clothes in a pointless scene where she takes a
swim in the middle of the night).
However, Hitman: Agent 47 ultimately fails when Agent 47 is
turned into some sort of bald headed, Caucasian Mr. Miyagi. The hitman
with no emotion suddenly adopts a protégé, which might be
entertaining if Friend had the charm and screen presence to make it
work. Also, it runs completely contrary to the silent, intimidating
character, if you care about stuff like that.
Hitman: Agent 47 is so badly made, they
don’t even have awesome cars to admire. I guess those were
sacrificed in some budget cuts.
Hitman:
Agent 47 is rated R for sequences of
strong violence, and some language.
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