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Shelf Beauties |
Grindhouse Grindhouse is more than a
movie, or Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s homage to
B-movies of the
70’s. It’s
like a festival, complete
with old style introductions and artwork, a double feature, intentional
film
imperfections to bring back the feeling of seeing these movies in the
rundown
theaters they would have played in back in the day, and faux trailers
of movies
you might want to see made if you have been waiting breathlessly for
Grindhouse. If only
the entire festival lived up to the hype,
but it’s not a loss. You
will find many
things to like in Grindhouse. Overall Grindhouse Rating =
2 ½ Waffles (Out Of 4) Planet Terror
Robert Rodriguez’s
entry in
Grindhouse
is the more entertaining of the two movies because he is willing to
have more fun with his story, the action and the over-the-top tone. While it never hits the
high levels of
filmmaking that Tarantino sometimes reaches in Death
Proof, it is a more
consistent film with plenty of good moments of its own.
Rose McGowan stars as Cherry
– a stripper looking to get off the pole and onto a career as
a stand up
comedian. On her
final night, the whole
town goes crazy as zombies start to take over and infect everyone in
their
path. Luckily, a
man from her past, Wray
(Freddy Rodriguez), comes along at the right time, and they team up to
find
safety with a motley crew of survivors including a doctor, Dakota
(Marley
Shelton), looking to get away from her abusive husband, William (Josh
Brolin);
the local barbecue shack owner, JT (Jeff Fahey); the town sheriff,
Hague
(Michael Biehn); a pair of twin babysitters (The Amazing Babysitter
Twins), and
more. However,
their efforts look to be
stymied by a mysterious military platoon led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce
Willis). Who will live?
Who will die? Invoking a rule I made last
year when I saw Poseidon,
any movie that features the violent, painful death of
Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas gets a couple extra kudos from me. However, Planet
Terror has a few more
positive aspects going for it as well.
Rodriguez captures the true tone of Grindhouse
with a movie that is
campy in the right places (even though it should be campier more
often), tries
to show you the grossest action possible and asks the actors to have
some fun
with cheesy dialogue. Rodriguez has the crowd
simultaneously
cheering and gagging with limbs being severed, puss-filled sores
exploding, and
blood, blood, blood. It’s
definitely not
a movie you want to see after eating a full meal.
However, it’s all done in fun, and the
fast
pace and non-stop gore keeps the audience reacting with glee because
that’s
what this movie is supposed to be about. The dialogue could be better
(in this case, funnier more often), and it can use more of the awesome
introductory music, but Planet Terror is entertaining because Freddy
Rodriguez
and McGowan make the most of every scene.
Planet Terror = 2 ½
Waffles
(Out Of 4) The Trailers
It turns out Rob Zombie and Eli
Roth can make really awesome 2-minute movies.
It’s the 90-minute ones that give them
trouble. Before each Grindhouse
feature,
the audience is treated to some of the funniest and most outlandish
movie ideas
you have ever seen. Robert
Rodriguez
starts the night off with the concept for Machete
starring Danny Trejo in a
story quite similar to Shooter. It is
the perfect start to the Grindhouse
night with its outrageous action, and a
hilarious cameo you will be telling your friends about for weeks. In fact, it was such a
good concept,
Rodriguez is planning to make it into a full length movie this summer,
while
filming Sin
City 2. After Planet
Terror, don’t
sneak off to the bathroom. Instead,
get
ready for Rob Zombie’s Werewolf
Women of the S.S. – a tale about
Hitler’s plans
to rule the world with a race of topless Nazi superwomen. It is the most outrageous
of the Grindhouse
entries, and one which also has a cameo that will amaze you, even if it
feels
just about right when you consider the career path of the actor in
question. Kudos to
Zombie for making a
2-minute piece that is hilarious, memorable, pays homage to the
70’s stars who
might have appeared in a movie like this and proving he has a great
sense of
humor. Then, the intermission
portion of Grindhouse
features two intense faux trailers for 80’s-style horror
movies. The first, Don’t
by Edgar
Wright, the brilliant director of Shaun of the Dead
and the upcoming Hot Fuzz,
is a simple concept, but one of the funniest clips I have seen all year
as it
takes that concept and hammers it to death in the most humorous way
possible. I’ll
let you seek it out
without ruining the joke. Finally, Eli Roth presents
an 80’s-style slasher movie called Thanksgiving. As you can guess,
it’s about a serial killer
who strikes fear in the hearts of The
Trailers = 4 Waffles
(Out Of 4)
Death Proof Quentin Tarantino’s
entry in Grindhouse
is the one most people I know have been waiting for, but it’s
a movie
with periods of awesomeness, interrupted by longer periods of boring
dialogue
and a story that makes you wonder where this is all going. Sydney Poitier
(yes, daughter of THE Sidney Poitier) stars as Jungle Julia
– a popular morning radio
personality who has teamed up with her gal pals, Butterfly (Vanessa
Ferlito)
and Shanna (Jordan Ladd), to have a wild night of fun before they join
a few
other friends at their cabin for the weekend.
While at a local bar, they meet up with Stuntman
Mike (Kurt Russell) – a
guy with a dangerous car looking for a dangerous time.
What is Stuntman
Mike’s goal
for the evening? When Death
Proof is good, it
is very good and everything you want out of Tarantino.
However, when it is bad, you might be looking
for an exit or a quick bathroom break.
Russell
is fantastic as the slightly goofy, mostly cheesy and stealthily
dangerous
Stuntman Mike, especially when he engages in sexy, flirty dialogue with
Butterfly. Even
as Death
Proof
gets
goofier, which works well for the movie, he portrays Stuntman Mike with
the
right tone to match that of the movie.
Death
Proof’s
biggest
drawback is the incessant, tedious and boring segments of nothingness. It takes Tarantino a long
time to get to the
climax of each half of Death
Proof,
with lots of meaningless dialogue filling
the void. I suppose
he is trying to
recapture the Pulp
Fiction or Reservoir
Dogs patter and vibe, but the
discussions in Death
Proof don’t
make it happen. We
don’t have memorable dialogue like the Royale
With Cheese or a wild story about how a watch was smuggled out of the
war. However, this
segment of Grindhouse
is saved
by an awesome climactic showdown featuring Tracie Thoms in what is best
described as the Samuel L. Jackson role, and real life stuntwoman Zoe
Bell
showing off her stuntwoman talent, and on screen charisma. Once Tarantino turns on the
action, you will realize it was worth the wait to get there as Death
Proof = 2 Waffles (Out
Of 4) Grindhouse is rated R for everything.
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