Green Lantern

Ryan "The Former Mr. Scarlett Johanssen" Reynolds stars as Hal Jordan - a hot shot pilot haunted by his father's unfortunate demise. One crazy night, Hal is somewhat captured by a mysterious energy that leads him to the crash site of an alien spaceship. A heroic group of creatures called the Green Lanterns have harnessed the power of will to fight evil across the universe, and they wear rings that select them as fearless and capable of the great responsibility. Of course, the ring has chosen Hal, and the other Green Lanterns aren't all that impressed.

Meanwhile, a horrible evil force is plotting to take over Earth by harnessing our fear. When this big ugly cloudy, smoggy menace starts to suck out our spines (I guess you have to see it to believe it), it also takes over the body and brain of a scientist, Hector (Peter Sarsgaard), to defeat Green Lantern.

Can Hal defeat Hector and this weird smog monster, Parallax?

Why did Blake Lively dye her golden, beautiful blond hair brown?

I think I knew I was in trouble when people laughed at the Green Lantern costume the first time Jordan shifts into it. Everything about Green Lantern is unremarkable. It doesn't stink, and it isn't completely incompetent, but nothing is all that exciting.

Reynolds does his best to get us excited about this unexceptional adventure, but even his charm can't make up for the soggy script and overly complicated premise. Director Martin Campbell and the four person writing team don't give us enough to make the conflicts and major stories compelling. They spend so much time explaining who the Green Lanterns are and how they interact that they lose focus on the more central storyline.

Hector has a long simmering envy of Hal that is barely touched upon, but would have gone a long way to explain why he was so susceptible and perfect to be used by Parallax to attack our hero. We know Hal and Carol (Blake Lively) have knocked boots in the past, but the depth of the relationship is not clear and not defined enough to make her peril and his attempts at rescue to be interesting. Plus, we just don't need of all this stuff about Hal's Dad. It's supposed to be motivational, but never really goes deeper than showing us a kid crying over the loss of his father, and giving Reynolds plenty of moments to look plaintively out into the horizon.

Then, everything looks phony. Instead of being frightening and imposing, Parallax looks like a wimpy, cartoon storm cloud you would see in a local TV weather report. Watch out! He'll huff and puff and blow your house down! The mystical Green Lantern headquarters planet doesn't have an ounce of realism to it, and the rest of the alien characters all look like they were conceived to be children's toys instead of the toughest warriors in the universe.

The biggest sin in Green Lantern is dying Blake Lively's hair brown. Seriously? You didn't hire her for her acting ability, which is obvious when you see Lively stiffly reciting her lines in the most boring and unemotional way you have ever seen. She's a walking talking Barbie doll blond haired babe. Let her go with it. It's her move.

Green Lantern is a big disappointment.

Green Lantern is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence.