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by Willie Waffle



Godsend

Every member of the Holy Trinity of Italian Actors has given me some disappointment over the years, even shocked me with the movies they have worked in. Al Pacino was in Gigli, and John Travolta was Battlefield Earth. This week, Robert De Niro appears in Godsend. The crud trifecta is complete.

Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-she-won't-be-Stamos-much- longer star as Paul and Jessie - neo-hipster, New York City parents who tragically lose their 8-year old son, Alex (Cameron Bright) in an accident. Distraught and emotionally destroyed, the two are met at the cemetery by a mysterious doctor, Dr. Richard Wells (Robert De Niro), who claims he can clone Alex and bring him back into their lives as if he never was killed. Paul and Jessie decide to do it, even though it means they have broken the law and must cut themselves off from all friends and family for the rest of their lives. Eight years later, the new Alex is living with them in a small rural town, but that boy ain't right.

What's wrong with Alex?

What's wrong with this movie? It is horrible! Godsend has earned its place next to Gigli, Marci X and Freddie Got Fingered in the movie hall of shame. Let's start with director Nick Hamm's need for and over-reliance on melodrama. We are subjected to the entire melodrama textbook as we watch Paul crumble to the floor when he learns his son is dead, Jessie's speech about watching the kid die in her arms, the always dark apartment, Paul's amateur sleuthing filled with conveniences that made me laugh, and more. Hamm, along with writer Mark Bomback, throws it all on the screen hoping something will stick. The audience even has to watch a painfully awkward birth scene that made me feel embarrassed for poor Rebecca Romijn.

In the end, Godsend comes off as a ponderous, high class B-movie that isn't quite about the science, the mystery or anything else. Hamm desperately tries to make this film feel dark and foreboding, but doesn't take us anywhere exciting. He flirts with a couple scenes that were truly scary, but they don't have a payoff as Godsend deteriorates until it finally goes off the deep end in a horrible conclusion that can't come quick enough.

Even De Niro and Kinnear can't save this clunker. While some don't consider Kinnear to be a talented actor, I think he has more than proven himself in Auto Focus and As Good As It Gets. The guy has some range, knows how to find the character's most interesting traits and can work with big talent as an equal instead of being a bystander who seems small in comparison. Sadly, he doesn't have much of a script to work with here. Romijn might be a good actress, but this movie doesn't give us much of a chance to find out due to its dreadful script and story, while De Niro is paid more for his appearance than performance in Godsend. We know he's a great actor, but this movie doesn't call on him to do much acting.

Godsend is not one. Save your sanity, save your brain and save your money by avoiding it at all cost.

0 Waffles (Out Of 4)

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