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Shelf Beauties
by Willie Waffle
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Code
Name: The Cleaner
If Cedric The Entertainer
keeps making movies like this, The
Honeymooners and Johnson
Family Vacation, he
may really have to work as a janitor.
Cedric stars as Jake –
a man
who wakes up in a fancy Seattle
hotel with a bump on the head, wicked amnesia symptoms, a briefcase
full of
$250,000 in cash and a dead FBI agent laying next to him (or, as James
Bond
would refer to it, Saturday night).
Not
sure what to do, the big guy makes a run for it (with the cash), and
meets up
with a sexy housewife, Diane (Nicolette “I’m
Desperate to be in a movie” Sheridan), who
claims to
be his betrothed. Jake
quickly learns
that she’s up to no good, so he runs off to track down a clue
that might help
him remember who he is. However,
it
leads to a sexy waitress, Gina (Lucy Liu), who claims to be his
girlfriend, and
she tells him, despite the secret ops flashbacks he is having, Jake is
just the
janitor at the near by computer software development company.
What has Jake gotten himself
into? Is he the
janitor or a secret
agent on a mission? Will
the people who
killed that FBI agent find him and do worse to our hero?
Code
Name: The Cleaner reminds me of the type
of laughless, painful, absurd movies Chevy
Chase used to do in the late eighties and early
nineties, so
Cedric better learn from those mistakes before they both end up in Cops and
Robbersons 2. Sadly,
Cedric is left with
absolutely no material and no story to carry the movie, so he is
reduced to acting
like an overgrown buffoon with the mentality of a 5th
grader who
bounces from one product placement to the next, and he’s
better than this. Cedric
has some charm, a quick wit, and the
ability to relate to the audience, but doesn’t get to put any
of those skills
on display in this movie.
Instead, Cedric has to act
as silly as possible to make up for a lack of script and plot because
writers
Robert Adetuyi and George Gallo didn’t take the time to
develop either. The
audience doesn’t get twists and turns to
thrill them. To the contrary, we get Cedric horribly acting like he
knows
karate, and repeated jokes about how sexy the two women in the movie
look and
whether or not Jake has been intimate with them.
Of course, this is a waste of Sheridan’s
and
Lui’s talent as they are reduced to window dressing and a
fantasy sequence
better saved for late night Cinemax movies.
Code
Name: The Cleaner is a
flop.
0
Waffles (Out Of 4)
Copyright
2007 - WaffleMovies.com
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