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by Willie Waffle

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Christmas With The Kranks

When a movie is based on a John Grisham book, you expect it to end up in some climactic courtroom scene where lots of well-dressed lawyers with pretty white teeth jump up and yell, "I object." However, the only people yelling, "I object," in this film are the audience members who are disappointed with its typical, cliché, and unadventurous story. They might not jump up and walk out, but they won't be telling friends to rush out and see it either.

Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis star as Luther and Nora Krank - two empty nesters facing the first Christmas without their beloved college co-ed daughter, Blair (Julie Gonzalo). Nora is brokenhearted and traumatized at the prospect, but Luther sees an opportunity. Because he's an accountant and cheapskate, Luther crunches some numbers and discovers they spend $6000 on Christmas every year, but they could take a fancy Christmas cruise for just $3000. Luther convinces Nora they should skip Christmas, refuse to buy gifts, choose not to send out cards, avoid the company party and more, which slowly alienates them from friends, co-workers, neighbors and family.

At the last minute, when Blair decides to come home for Christmas, can Luther and Nora put together their traditional, over blown Christmas celebration? Will anyone help?

Christmas With The Kranks is one of those movies with the promise to be outrageous, twisted and hilarious with a wonderful satire of Christmas commercialism gone awry, but it never lives up to your hopes and dreams. Instead, director Joe Roth and writer Chris Columbus (he walked away from Harry Potter for this?!?!?!) go for the typical jokes and pratfalls you have seen a zillion times before. You will laugh at much of this, but it's not a hearty, fulfilling guffaw. It's more like a Christmas snack that leaves you wanting more until dinnertime. The only aspect of the movie to get your attention and stay with you after walking out of the theater is the cool soundtrack full of rock and roll's best holiday tunes (thank you Little Steven, who supervised the music).

Allen, Curtis and co-stars Dan Akroyd and M. Emmett Walsh are all capable of great comedy, and it's their ability that keeps you interested throughout the predictable jokes and silly slapstick, but you never feel like Christmas With The Kranks is something special. Akroyd gets some chuckles as the neighborhood boss, Frohmeyer (a suburban, comical Tony Soprano), who tries to enforce uniformity and neighborhood spirit by cajoling the Kranks to put up their decorations like everyone else, while Walsh has some funny moments as the neighbor across the street who doesn't hide his hate for Luther. However, Allen and Curtis aren't expected to do much but get beat up in the name of comedy. They take the physical torture well and with some zeal, but it feels like a waste of their respective immense talents.

Worst of all, Roth and Columbus don't know when to end the movie (do I have to say this for every single movie that is released?!?!). The two have presented a very simple story, but they try to complicate matters towards the end with some potential danger for the Kranks that is unnecessary. Since it's a holiday tale, I'll accept the sappy part of the ending, but this other plot twist is a complete waste of time that adds nothing to the story or anything we feel for our heroes.

If you're looking for cheap laughs packaged with a holiday theme, this movie is for you, but it will play better on cable or DVD next year.

1 ½ Waffles (Out Of 4)

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