Australia

Crikey, this is a long movie.

Set in 1939, Nicole Kidman stars as Sarah Ashley – a British aristocrat whose husband runs a massive cattle ranch in Australia, but hubby is preparing to sell the land and cattle at a horribly discounted rate to cattle baron King Carney (Bryan Brown). The King doesn’t play fair, so, when Sarah shows up to save the business and compete for a lucrative government contract to provide cattle to the army, danger is around every corner. With no one else to turn to, Sarah reaches out to the one man her husband trusts – Drover (Hugh “It’s a Good Thing the Screen Actor’s Guild Doesn’t Test For Steroids Like the NFL” Jackman).

Can they drive the cattle across the roughest and toughest land to the government port, or will King Carney and his men be able to sabotage them?

Australia is an epic in every moviemaking sense, but also emotionally. It is maddeningly stupid at times, and dramatically captivating at others. Sadly, it also is two movies in one, when one would have been enough.

Australia is best when director/co-writer Baz Luhrmann and his writing team focus on the plot I outlined above. It captures the spirit of a land we would liken to America’s wild wild west, puts the spotlight on two fine actors in a traditional, but compelling love story and gets the audience riled up to see the good guys beat the bad guys. Unfortunately, it takes Luhrmann too much time to get to it.

Luhrmann starts off Australia like some sort of madcap romp with two actors’ uncomfortable attempt to be Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn in the leads. The comedy is downright dumb, off putting and overly simplistic. When placed next to the more complex story he later presents, and when compared to the lushly shot and beautifully showcased country side we see come to life on the screen, you almost think two different directors were at work.

Then, just when you think Australia is over, Luhrmann adds the second movie as we fast forward two years into the future and see what has become of Drover, Sarah and the others involved in the movie. It’s almost like Luhrmann wanted to make a sequel, and went ahead with the plans all by himself. It’s too bad, because I think Jackman and Kidman are very good in Australia (or, as I may refer to it in the future, Australia and Australia 2: The Return of Crikey).

Jackman is fantastic. While given the duty of saying “Crikey” in four of the more ridiculous close ups in movie history, he truly embraces being the swashbuckling hero. He’d be comfortable and believable as the new Indiana Jones if they ever replaced Harrison Ford the way they cast a new James Bond every few years. Then, Kidman excels as Sarah fights for the proper treatment of the downtrodden, battles for justice in the face of a tricky business foe and flirts with Jackman the way every man on the face of the planet wishes she would flirt with him. However, one element of Australia is completely unforgivable.

While I can applaud Luhrmann’s inclusion of a story about the treatment of Aboriginals in Australia, I can’t stand the use of Brandon Walters as the movie’s narrator. As Nullah, an Aboriginal child with a white father, which makes him an outcaste and target of a government program that takes children like him away from their families, he’s a nice enough kid who holds his own when acting, but Luhrmann’s written narration, as well as his direction of Walters, makes this the most annoying part of Australia. The sing song delivery is unnatural and reeks of overly attempted cuteness.

Australia is not a complete loss, but it could have been a contender.

Australia is rated PG-13 for some violence, a scene of sensuality, and brief strong language.