Amelia

If there have ever been two people on the face of the planet who I never wanted to see kiss each other on a massive movie screen, it is Hilary Swank and Richard Gere. It's like watching a ferret kiss a horse.

Based on the true story, Swank stars as Amelia Earhart - the female aviator who captured the world's imagination and inspired millions to love flying. Of course, it wasn't easy being a woman pilot in the 1920's and 30's, so, by golly, she'll have to display some gumption to show those rapscallion flyboys she can wear aviator trousers with the best of them (the whole movie feels like it was made in the 20's, and not in a good way, so I have to use language from the 20's).

Of course, to become so famous, she needs someone who can manage her public image, and help her raise money to pay for all of these airplanes, fuel and more. That's where George Putnam (Richard Gere) comes in, and falls in love with Amelia along the way.

Will George and Amelia find true love?

Will she be able to become the first person to fly around the world?

OK, you probably know the answer to that last question.

I went to see Amelia with a theater full of people who won tickets from a local radio station, and a mere three minutes into the movie, two people walked out. I envy them. Amelia is a boring movie full of mockable dialogue, dreadful acting and long, supposedly poetic narration which could induce a coma if you don't have enough caffeine flowing through your veins.

Swank is a good actress, but she doesn't do anything to give Earhart some life and energy. I know she might be trying to be true to Earhart by mimicking her voice, accent and inflections, but no one who goes to the movies on a regular basis knows what Earhart really sounded like, and the character desperately needs more charisma to make the audience care about her and the story, especially since we know how it ends! Swank is a great actress, but she needs to kick it up a notch to save this movie, and doesn't.

Director Mira Nair makes me feel like Amelia was made in the 1930's as it proceeds along with the pace of a fat man running to a health food store. Nair constantly wants to show us planes soaring through the sky with majestic string music setting the tone, but it gets repetitive when she doesn't give us a better feel for where in the world they are flying, or how this cloud is different from that cloud, especially when we are familiar with the sight of a plane flying through the sky.

Amelia is supposed to be full of inspiration, her angst over commercializing her endeavors and a painful love story that tears at each one of them, but without Swank delivering the goods, and no chemistry between her and Gere, Amelia is only exciting to me when the character has to appear in ad for a wafflemaker.

You might be better off watching a History Channel story about Amelia Earhart, or an educational film kids in elementary school would view if the teacher was sleeping off a hangover.

Amelia is rated PG for some sensuality, language, thematic elements and smoking.