Back Shelf Beauties
by Willie Waffle
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Alien Vs.
Predator
I just returned from a midnight screening of the film since critics in DC
(and elsewhere according to reports I have read) were not given a chance
to see the movie before opening day. Now, I know why. Who is the big winner
in Alien Vs. Predator? Everyone who avoids
going to see the film. Not only do you save $9.50, you avoid a night of
disappointment.
Sanaa Lathan stars as Alexa Woods - an expedition leader hired by a huge
corporate magnate, Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance Henriksen), to lead a group
of experts on an exploration in Antarctica. The Weyland Corporation has
discovered a huge pyramid built 2000 feet below the ice, and Weyland wants
to know what is inside (hopefully something historic, since the CEO wants
to be remembered for more than his company). Once the crew gets there, they
learn about another group of people in the same area who disappeared 100
years earlier. Then, they discover something shocking and frightening in
the pyramid. It's full of man-eating aliens, who are fighting against hunters
with other-worldly powers.
Why are they fighting? Who are the good guys? Who will win? Can they be stopped
before they get to the surface and take over the earth?
Where are governors Arnold and Jesse when you need them? I guess they didn't
have time to bleed.
Alien Vs. Predator elicits more laughs
and chuckles than chills and thrills. Made much like a B-movie, the script
is sparse, the special effects are cheap and the actors find themselves wrapped
up in stereotypical characters who die in new and mundane ways, one at a
time for dramatic effect. Alien Vs.
Predator's biggest disappointments are the inevitable, and highly
anticipated showdowns between the aliens and the predators.
Anyone familiar with science fiction movies, or movies in general since the
late 1970's, knows the origins of the Alien and Predator characters. Each
has spawned a successful movie franchise (Sigourney Weaver in
Alien,
Aliens, Alien
3, Alien: Resurrection. Arnold
Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura in
Predator). Then, they were combined into
a very popular comic book series. However, if there was one thing that was
true in all of the Alien movies, all
of the Predator movies and the
Alien Vs. Predator comic books, it was
the toughness and amazing fighting abilities of the lead characters. Sadly,
this movie doesn't show us much of the mind-blowing skills we saw in those
films.
Writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson seems to be compensating for poor special
effects by avoiding any long looks at the predators or aliens in action,
and staging the action in a very dark setting, which makes it even harder
to follow. We get plenty of close-ups on the aliens' drooling mouths baring
sharp, nasty teeth, and we see the predators stalking around with their
way-too-cool dreadlocks, but bulky, phony looking suits of armor. This is
the most disappointing aspect of the movie. The Predators, because
we can get a very good look at them, are taken down a notch. They don't
seem as imposing.
When it comes time to see the big fights, which take almost an hour to come
to fruition, Anderson doesn't focus the camera on the movements and resulting
gore. The gore is non-existent to get a PG-13 rating, and Anderson gives
us too-brief glances at each combatant instead of following the fluid motion
of a well-choreographed battle spotlighted by effective lighting. A few times,
we see a full body shot of the aliens, but not in a way that demonstrates
their combination of power and flexibility, while the predators look weighed
down by their shoulder pads and face masks.
The comic book stores may be empty, and your company's IT department may
have taken the day off to see Alien Vs.
Predator, but this is barely good enough for the overzealous fans,
and dreadful for the rest of us.
½ Waffle (Out Of
4)
Copyright 2004 - WaffleMovies.com
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